Note to Oneself

Reading Carl Rogers view of creating a helping relationship is very enlightening. It feels like those questions were really intended for what I feel right now because it talks about us, our inner selves. Some of the questions have already been clinging inside my mind most of the time that is why I am being more eager to understand myself then.

Personally, there is always a time when I think that I am not that good in interpersonal communication, meaning expressing myself towards other people. Why? Maybe because, I am lacking of experience or is it that I just don’t know how to understand their situation? This crisis actually motivates me to understand what I truly feel at the moment and towards other people. As a lesson in reading this concept, I have seen that I am always thinking of the contradiction between what I am saying and to what the other person may feel. As a result, there would be still a gap between me and that person because tendency, he/she will feel that I am cannot be trusted. Thus, I must reach for personal growth first before reaching out to others. This also is very relative on how dependable I am towards others. On the question “Can I be strong enough as a person to be separate from the other?” and “Can I let myself enter fully into the world of his personal meanings and feelings and see what he does?”, I have understand that I will definitely not be able to do that especially if I haven’t know myself either. I sometimes perceived other people feelings and experiences as very hard to understand but it is just me making it complicated? Probably, it is just a matter of getting involve yourself first, putting your own shoe to his/her situation and there you can see and understand why such person feel that way.

Talking about now of threat or what we call as judgment from other people, we have been striving in society and finding our comfort zone in order to protect our ego right? But can we really avoid criticism? Obviously no. Hence, self-awareness and self-responsibility really matters then. For me, I have been in that stage of still hiding myself and not letting others see it because I have that fear of rejection and judgment. But I have grasp that it only increases the illness growing from the inside. Otherwise, building a helping relationship towards others will be a failure.

As a conclusion, I must not use judgment in order to fully know an individual. It lies in what we call acceptance. I have seen that the acceptance of my true self-worth and courage must be the initial step and let other people accept theirs’ too.